Tim Stewart: The Decision
Sly Rivers
07.10.10

Tim Stewart, The World's Most Interesting Wiffler, has a decision to make. In fact, it has become The Decision.

Where will Tim Stewart go? That is the big question. Sources have revealed that Tim was offered 125 free agents points to join the TWL Mud Dogs. The Mud Dogs have also enticed Tim by promising him that they would also bring in Jeffery Byington. Can you just imagine a team with BOTH Tim Stewart and Jeffery Byington. This could totally upset the balance of the wiffle league world.

Will Tim stay loyal and remain with the only team he has been with, the Tennessee Dodgers? He has taken the Tennessee Dodgers to new heights. Fans of the TN Dodgers feel that Tim Stewart could give them multiple TWL championships. One fan in particular named Ned said, "Tim could give the TN Dodgers not one championship, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven..."

Let's take a look at the teams trying to get Tim Stewart:

Teams
Offers
The TN Dodgers mentioned loyalty to Tim. Think about all the TN Dodger fans who have purchased TN Dodgers's T-shirts with Stewart on the back. What the hell are they going to do with them if he leaves. One sport clothes retailer added, "I just got rid of my last last Eddie George Tennessee Titans jersey last week, if Tim leaves the TN Dodgers, I might be stuck with my stock of his jerseys for decades even with 90% off. Will loyalty play a factor in Tim's decision? One fan had this to say, " If Tim leaves us, I'd reckon' I'd just kill myself."
According to inside sources, the Mud Dogs have offered an unbelievable offer of 125 free agent points (The TWL gives out 15 points for every loss a team gets during the season). This offer is truely showing how much the Mud Dogs want Tim. This is by far the highest amount of free agent points ever offered to a single player in the history of the TWL.1 Unfortunately there are rumors that the league will just draft players thus making the free agent point system obsolete. The Mud Dogs owner responded, "What the hell? We lost 13 games to get all those free agent points...for nothing!"
The KWL's Sittin' Ducks have taken their undisclosed offer off the table when they realized that five of the six Sittin' Ducks members (Katie, Amber, Mary, Lyndsey and Michelle) all have restraining orders against Tim. How about the sixth member Shevonne? She just bought a gun.

 

1 The previous high was zero free agent points shared by zero players.