Some of these teams have had a successful past and/or may have a bright future but are just stuck in the dismal present. Some of these teams are suffering the curse of failure most expansion teams endure their first season.
Some people will tell you that making or maintaining a winning team is hard. This is sometimes true but not always. I think the toughest thing any wiffler can experience is plowing through those seemingly endless losing streaks with their team. If most of those teams just stick it out long enough the streak will be broken and they'll find improvement. But for other teams it will all be simply too much to bear and they'll either quit or dissolve to join other teams. Let's meet 2010's winless wonders:
Cubs (Caputo Complex) 0-9
Joe Caputo was kind enough to get back to me with his thoughts on the Cubs within hours of me sending him an e-mail. Cal Sebor, the team's captain, has either really bad luck or he's stolen some buried treasure and has been cursed to lose for years on end. "Sebor hasn't won a game since July 24, 2008 ," says Caputo. Wow. 2 years of losing! What's great is he's the best hitter on the team (.477 AVG, 3 HR, & 24 RBIs). Where the gods have been punishing him the most is on the mound. He has a 0-7 pitching record, 12.22 ERA, 58 Ks but has given up 84 hits and 81 Earned Runs. The Cubs have been outscored 81 to 27 this year. If they don't find a way to keep the opposing teams from rounding the bases they will continue to lose. Caputo states that Sebor has bad timing for bringing in relief pitching and that he "has a tendency to trade away his players." The remaining teams to play on their schedule are the Pirates and Cardinals, both winning teams. This year isn't looking too good for the Cubs. Caputo elaborated a little bit more about the matter during a pre-game show for their All-Star game. Check it out.
Blasters (WiffleATL) 0-10
This team has been suffering loss after loss against every team in WiffleATL. They are the worst team in the south. So what is the bane of the Blasters? Inconsistency. They have 2 hitters with a .300 or better batting average (Dylan .361 & Steve .349). Steve is the only decent pitcher on the team with a 6.86 ERA, 0-2 record, and 8 Ks. Everyone else on the team has gargantuan ERAs like Corey who has a 22.50 ERA (one of the worst in the league). The only advice I can provide for this team is to practice. It doesn't matter if only part of your team is successfully hitting and pitching. You can't win ball games without successful contribution from all the team members.
Mariners (Backyard Wiffs) 0-5
Backyard Wiff's commissioner, Nick Batcha, shed a lot of light on the league's two winless wonders. He informed me that the Mariners were an expansion team from last year and "miraculously made the playoffs." They lost in a 3-game series in the first round against the Cardinals and that appears to be the high-water mark for this team to date. They were expected to perform well and be a "sure fire playoff team" but have encountered "mind boggling struggles." The bats simply haven't "come around" Batcha says. Trent Greco is a "hard, slider throwing pitcher" but has really struggled with accuracy when trying to hit the strike zone. Team captian, Mike Eggert, was out early in the season with a stress fracture in his foot. He was unable to run bases and struggled to field. While this season may be hopeless due to their rocky start next year could be bright for this team. Eggert has a .111 AVG with 1 HR but and has struck out 21 times out of 27 at bats. If they're going to turn things around they need to hit the ball and find the strike zone. Plain and simple.
Blue Jays (Backyard Wiffs) 0-9
The Blue Jays are experiencing what most expansion teams encounter in their first season: defeat. They have the worst record and team batting average in the league (.111 AVG, 4 HRs, 5RBIs, 59 Ks). On June 18th they nearly took out the Diamondbacks but a thunderstorm interrupted the game and killed their momentum. They often get behind early on in games, making it difficult for them from the beginning. The Jays are the only team in their league who do not have a go-to "formidable" pitcher. Their hitting patterns are inconsistent. Batcha says the Jays will "come out and knock out 4 hits in one game, then will get no-hit in the next." For them to win they need to find a solid pitcher and consistently hit the ball. It's hard for a new team their first year, especially if their first season is plagued by loss after loss. Hopefully we'll see the Jays in 2011 to take another stab at victory.
Merilina Angels (KWLNY) 0-3
Meet Tori DeStefano, the KWLNY's only female player. She's the captain of the 0-3 Merilina Angels but despite the record there is a possibility they could be a winning team if DeStefano can get her players to the field. KWLNY Commissioner, Drew van der Poel, said "I don't see them playing another game this year but if they played a full season they would've won games." DeStefano has lead by example with hitting (.250 AVG) but has been left stranded on base. The only other decent hitter on the team is Jake Paul (.335 AVG) but he's only played in one game. Andrei Johnson and Matt Ryan showed promise on the mound but were inconsistent with their attendance. Were it not for her players petering out, the Angels probably wouldn't be featured in this article. All DeStefano can do is plan for next year and hope she finds more committed players. Her only other option would be to join another team and scrap having her own team. It would be a shame to see her do that though. It's not every day that you see a female team captain in this sport. There's also the matter of the KWLNY beginning to shrink if that were to happen. So I challenge you, Tori DeStefano. Get a team together and play a full season. You may lose every game but play a full season. Your league needs you to maintain its vast size.
Emerson Mariners (KWLNY) 0-3
The Mariners (formerly the Twins in '08 & Yankees in '09) are the only winless KWLNY team that is not a new expansion franchise. They made it all the way to the league championship in 2008 but in 2009 they began to fall apart. While they played a lot of games last year they failed to make the playoffs which has eroded the morale of the team, particularly the team's captain - Andrew Silberg. Silberg has apparently lost interest in the game because he's "not good at it." "This is sad, the Mariners have a lot of KWL[NY] history" Commissioner van der Poel remarked. The Mariners looked good at the beginning of the season when they signed rookie Micah Riddick but Riddick has only made one appearance during the season. The Mariners will more than likely go under after this year if they don't play any more games. Their captain has pretty much abandoned the team and a team without leadership cannot last. If the Mariners do expire they will be the first of the KWLNY's 8 original teams to fold.
Linderman Indians (KWLNY) 0-9
Kevin Jacob, Indians captain, is extremely thirsty for a win in the KWLNY. With an 0-9 record they are the worst team in their league. Kevin Jacob "started this expansion franchise with little wiffleball or athletic background" according to league commissioner Drew van der Poel. Kevin Jacob's stats have been hideous to say the least - .045 AVG, 1 HR, and 2 RBIs. However, there is one glimmer of hope for hitting on their team: Alton Mitchell (.281 AVG, 3 HRS, & 5 RBIs). The Indians are being given every advantage. The KWL allows any team with a 0-5 (or worse) record to have a much bigger roster than winning teams. The Indians have 9 PLAYERS! But out of those 9 players, 5 of them have only played in one game. Kevin Jacob gave the Pirates $6 in exchange for Sean Ryan. Ryan has been showing promise on the mound and is becoming the team's ace. But good pitching means nothing if they are not scoring. Drew van der Poel thinks "the Tribe will get a W [sometime] this year." I, however, am a bit more skeptical. If the Indians aren't utilizing the advantages they're being given then what will change? Nothing. If they don't get their players on the field and their captain doesn't start hitting the ball there is no reason to believe they will win unless luck intervenes.
Bulldogs (WCWBL) 0-5
"If you're a passive captain the season will pass you by," says WCWBL commissioner James Galvan. He says the Bulldogs aren't winning because their captain, Cesar Hernandez, is too laid back. "He will keep a guy on the bump [mound] who is getting pummeled instead of taking him out," Galvan said. Cesar is "nice by nature" but struggles to know when it's time to pull the plug on his pitchers. When asked what's up with his team Cesar says "We are right where we want to be." With a 28-63 all-time record they are at least a solid team who play a lot. If they are where they want to be they must at least be having a good time. But if Cesar wants the Bulldogs to start putting some numbers in the wins column he needs to start making the tough calls.
Neapolitan Creamers (GDWL) 0-4
The Creamers, at first glance, are paper tigers. They have 2 league hall of famers. Greg Szepelak (2006 GDWL Cy Young) has the third most career HRs in the league. Matt Thornton (former captain of the Vipers) dominates in the outfield, hits well, and is a fair pitcher. But they haven't performed as well as anticipated. Greg Szepelak is the only player on the team to hit a home run (only one) on the team this year. They simply lost games by being out-played not necessarily because they played badly. The closest they've been to victory this year was against the Green Bears but in the bottom of the third Szepelak gave up a walk-off grand slam. The competition is pretty stiff in the GDWL for 2010 and a team struggling to assemble doesn't stand much of a chance at victory. They haven't played a game since week 3 of the regular season. They struggled to find a solid third guy for their team. Tony Ferrell (possible GDWL Rookie of the Year) played a few games with them but the team, as a whole, had difficulty making it to the field. Szepelak lives near Baltimore , MD and can only come in to West Virginia every other weekend. The league plays on Wednesdays and can rarely make a weekend game happen. When the captain can't make it, his team rarely gets it together. Tony joined the Parasites soon after Week 3 and the Creamers have yet to reappear. Playing wiffleball is a lot like playing the lottery: you have to play to win.
Reapers (PWLSD) 0-4
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Chuggin' Slugs (PWLSD) 0-3
There's not much to be said about the Reapers and Chuggin' Slugs because their website offers little detail about the individual teams. Both teams are expansion teams and are suffering from the usual funk new teams have their first season. Elliot Coughlin seems to be the main player for the Slugs. He's hit 6 HRs and does most of the pitching (0-3, 11Ks). The Slugs are the bottom feeders in the 4-team Oahe Division of the Pierre Wiffleball League of South Dakota . The nationally ranked Scrubs have been whipping up on the division and the Slugs can't seem to compete. The Reapers have Jake Chambers leading them in offense with 5 home runs. Jared Erickson has hit two out of the ballpark and has a 0-1 pitching record with 3 Ks. The Reapers are bringing up the rear in the Dakota Division. Bathborne has been dominating the division and it seems the Reapers don't stand a chance against anyone except perhaps the Trojans (2-3). Any other information on the Chuggin' Slugs or the Reapers is presently unattainable.
Phat Dong (ORWBL) 3-33
I saved the best (worst) for last. Phat Dong could be the worst team in wiffleball. The name alone speaks volumes about their maturity and character but once I heard feedback from ORWBL commissioner Koby Keck I learned that not only are they a terrible team but they are douche bags as well. Talk about a winning combination. "Mainly the reason they haven't been winning is that they are flat-out garbage" Keck says. They still owe the league for this year's fees and have only paid one time in the four years they've played with the league." You may ask, "Hey man, they have 3 wins...why are they in this article?" The three "wins" are from recent forfeits. They were 0-24 before those three wins were awarded to them. They were 13-56 all-time before entering into this season, imagine the damage after this year is completed. 9 of their losses this season have been forfeits because an insufficient amount of their players showed up. "Those that are on their roster aren't very good or just don't want to show up," Keck says. "In their series against my team, the Newts, we had to pick up some kids who were walking down the street and put them on the team for the day." Wow...no talent, lazy, and shameless. They were supposed to be met with opposition from joining this year but they somehow slipped by and have made another free-of-charge march into the wiffleball hall of shame.
Will this farce be allowed to continue into 2011? Time will tell. But having a team like Phat Dong can put a league at risk. Players on other teams may get tired of the tomfoolery and decide that since this team thinks the league is a joke then maybe it's time to hit the road. The fact that this team has evaded league fees and have been able to play on everyone else's dime is infuriating. A team may see next week's playing schedule and see that their opponent is none other than the abominable Phat Dong they may lose the will to show up. Phat Dong is the scourge of ORWBL and if the league doesn't uproot such a heinous weed it may choke them out. Phat Dong either needs to face the music or be lead to the guillotine.
It is very likely that half of these teams won't survive to see 2011. I encourage these teams to stick it out and finish this season and move onward to the next (with the exception of Phat Dong...I mean, Phat Dong - Really!?). The destruction of these teams can either strengthen the remaining teams and the league as a whole but if the players simply stop playing their league can become crippled and begin to die. Expansion teams play a larger role in a league than some may realize. If they fail, core teams may be next in line to fall. Winless Wonders - practice harder, get steadier players and don't lose your determination...the Law of Averages can only be against you for so long. For some of you victory may be closer than you think. |
